The Constitution Party: Because Reality Wasn’t Originalist Enough
If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if you cross-bred a pocket Constitution, a time machine stuck on the year 1789, and a Facebook uncle who thinks the IRS is a front for lizard people, you don’t need to wonder anymore. The Constitution Party already exists. And boy, do they have thoughts —mostly about how the United States should return to an era before indoor plumbing, universal suffrage, and the concept of weekends. Let’s begin with their core belief: “strict constitutional originalism.” Sounds tidy, right? Except the Constitution Party’s version of originalism isn’t about what the Constitution actually says. No, that would be far too straightforward. Their version is more like the Constitution as remembered by someone who skimmed a YouTube summary of the Federalist Papers while half-asleep. Take the 14th Amendment . You know—the one that explains how citizenship works. The Constitution Party has decided that the text doesn’t say what it clearly says. According to them, i...